Splitting Up (Paranoia)

from by B*dot*Jeff

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I'm just standing and waiting
For the colors to infuse into my brain and
Everything is becoming more interesting
Life has an extra sense of breathing
There's like 8 senses in here
And I'm here, but I am above and below at the same time
Consciousness and realty change lines
They run parallel in existence one universe above
And the line this time is coming from beyond
And I'm on
To figure out the purpose of this trip and beyond
So I'm gone

Trapped in a different space (I know)
Got some demons I'm tryna face (ya know)
Tryna figure out this space (she know)
I'm just tryna win at this race (We know)

This has just got me back and forth in my mind
To the intricacies of the fluid fallin down my spine
I'm tryin
To keep my sanity intact
But I'm no match
For this mind altering occasion
Splitting from my face and
My whole body essence in tow
Now I'm tore between factuality
And a side of me that wants all the knowledge it can possibly possess
I'm possessed
By the feeling that I get
This euphoric sensation
I'm chasin

But wait.
I can hear voices other than my own
My company shares something I wanna know
Oh we splitting up, where you tryna go
The group is thinning
And this trip is intensing
And I don't know if I'm beginning
Or ending
This feeling of everywhere has got me a dazed
My body wraps up like its been sick for days
I'm trying not to complicate it like Avril would say
But I'm trapped in this essence that in getting
I'm feeling
Like the current is too strong and I'm falling in a pit that I don't belong

Break necks
Cash checks
Money over everything
Better get my statement
Everything about myself hasn't been checked yet
I'm west set
LA livin comfortably
Fuckin with your bitch and three
Others that she came with
Woah my mind went on the fritz
There's a switch
In my mind that has been placed on my wish list
I wish this:
Bigger money, bigger cars
Fatter ass, longer yards
I never would say this
Mind my has displacement
This switch up is amazing
I feel totally in power, but my mind is racing
Faster than it wants to be
This might end up ugly
I don't know what's happening
But my mind split into these
Different parts of my personality arrive
Taking over as the main in order to survive
I don't know where I lie
But I hope this doesn't lie
Tryna bring up family ties
Instead of living in apartheid

[Paranoia, fear, doubt, envy, depression, tears
Lies, truth, falsifying proof
Happiness, wrath, greed, laughs
Wrapped together in a human bag
Lost in a sense of fear, courage is what I lack
I gotta find it fast so I can claim it all back
Climbing up a wall, don't have time for no slack
Darkness wall to wall, trapped inside this vat
Of Paranoia]

In my mind its safe to say
That I am no longer alone here, trapped in this fear, voices from the front to the rear
Definitely a time that I can properly say
This isn't what I wanted it to be, Oy vey
It could be the best or the worst of days
I hope I can survive today
I gotta wait patiently (patient-lay)
For this threat to subside in my mind
But it's kind
Of hard to bend these bars
When your inner most thoughts rise to the surface to hurt shit
Whether it be mentally or physically
I'm breaking bones easily
Ruining lives just always pleases me
And my ego loves to tease its prey before it takes its lives away
I'm tryna say Lucy will combine with me (may)
And take over the consciousness that you see today
Your lack of fight has sealed your fate
I know this is full of hate
You have a lot that's on your plate
It's your fault you went this way
Now how will you lift this weight
Oh wait
You've sealed yourself away
Succumb to your own fear you took your life away
R I P (pay)


from 727: Sugar Cubes & Experiences, released April 25, 2017
Prod. B*dot*Jeff



all rights reserved


B*dot*Jeff Maryland

From PG County, MD. 301.
Been in 2 bands, and this is my solo Hip Hop music.
Listen. Download. Enjoy. As-Salamu Alaykum.

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